@ctaretz - I am so thankful, and a worry is lifted, for your generosity of spirit, and the love you show both in thought, word, and the world which you show to me and to others paints a picture which is unexplainable.  It can go from the innocence of a beloved child to almost Dostoevsky moments of alienation.  And I find strength even when it seems a little dark, for no matter how old I am -- I will always have part of the child in me hiding in the dark.  Thank you for building my confidence on a day when I am searching for it from room to room.

Abiding Blessings and Love,

Barb

Barbara Everett Heintz, Author of, "Pinkhoneysuckle," -- Amazon, Kindle, and Create Space

Claretz,  I think a whole lot of us believe in you, and part of my belief is that you have suffered great hurt, rejection, and that you long for the consolation and affirmation that your life is valued, and it is, and it will be.  No one can erase your poems, for they are written, and you published them.  No one can take away your art or that you are such a gentle man that you love Lions.

Ever since you have known me, I have been endeavoring to take, "Pinkhoneysuckle," to the people who can tell the story of Southern Appalachians to a wide audience who never knew about the last of us who linger, The Appalachian dirt farm children now growing older.

Some days I want to sit and to cry, for vacuous stories get filmed every day, and I am at a disadvantage, for my son is among the Harvard educated staff who is busy working with Amazon to get films out, and he cannot help me one bit, and he has not even read my story, so he does not know how powerful it is.  Amazon will publish more and more to the point the market is so saturated that even Barnes and Noble is apt to go, so Kindle is one big ocean of books, and people like me who had to wait to have the time to write came in at the wrong time.  I always pictured myself with drafts in hand going from one publisher to the other in New York City, and finally I would get the word, "Yes," this is a great story.

I do not want you to feel left out and unheard, for the truth is those who are getting movie contracts now were already famous.  Younger people do not purchase books of poetry, and what you did to take it to Kindle took so much courage.  I do not know what you mean about leaving, but I want you to take care of yourself and to write on.

Technology is surpassing beauty, and is spitting out artificial beauty, and all that is so fake eventually fades.  I thank you for reading my blogs, for being my friend, and if you knew what a persistent woman I am and that I will work until the last pulmonary embolism takes me out to see, :"Pinkhoneysuckle," on the screen, because it is inexpensive to film, a story that goes untold, and a time is coming when those who lived our back country sorrows and the things which we fell over lauging about will no longer be here to tell this world that we are a people who asked nothing of America, and we were shamed in the circumstances of our birth to the point that two in my own family have rejected involvement or to help me in any way -- For they made up a life that was a lie.  I look at truth and feel that I can plant a seed and grow the great big oak tree which was the only good thing in our front yard.  Grass would not grow there, and I am not kidding, for it was full of clay, and the water table was about a mile down.

They look at our story and just rehash it with the family over and over again.  But we are just dots ourselves in a sea of people who were used the same way, and living the lie accomplishes setting an example of shame for every one of us.

I am not ashamed, and you must understand that Xanga is an artificial place, for people can paint themselves however they want.  I would hope and pray that you have friends and family to continue to wish you well in all things which you do.

I know that you are a good writer, so write on, and read it in the parks.  Find your place my friend.

May you always encourage, and if I am able to get this book to a movie set someday;  I want your blessing.

Always, Barbara Everett Heintz, Author of "Pinkhoneysuckle," the book and Pinkhoneysuckle on Xanga Blog.