October 8, 2012

  • God and Lucifer

    One day the Devil wanted to visit
    with God, He looked up to the Heavens
    and said; "Oh God in heaven may I be allowed
    to come up and see you; perhaps a game of chess?"
    God heard this and granted Lucifer up to his castle in the sky.
    The chess board was already set up by the time Lucifer arrived,
    Lucifer went to where the black pieces were when God said; "Wait
    I'm the black pieces today, you are the white, and it's your turn."
    They started playing, starting with Lucifer making the first move.
    "What's on your mind Lucifer?" "The World is mine." Lucifer gloated.
    "I know it is but that isn't saying anything you and the World are both
    going to die in flames of glorious wrath." "Oh, you mean when that weak
    son of yours comes back? HAHAHA!"
    God paused... then smiled, "yes Lucifer when my son goes back to claim all
    the souls that breathed our names."
    "Damn you and your son!!!" Heaven shook and God looked
    at Lucifer and said; "Lucifer, this is my house and you will respect it.
    Next time you holler and curse my son and me I am not going to ask
    you to leave - I am going to throw you out!!!!" Heaven shook harder and Lucifer's
    chair broke - His posterior end caught his fall and he remembered himself and
    re-established respect. After that,
    they just played chess for the next few hours, God won a few, Lucifer won
    some, they both were enjoying their time together.
    It was almost strange how they were actually mortal enemies; mortal
    enemies with two different ideas of how God's creation should live.
    Lucifer than had an idea, he thought of a tidal wave and cast it towards
    where God's people live.
    God sensed it and cast a tidal wave to crash into the tidal wave
    hence destroying it before it reached his people.
    The fisherman on the docks saw this and were in awe.
    a tidal wave coming with the tide but, wait, a tidal wave
    going against the tide?
    Lucifer than conjured up a Tornado and sent it
    to crash through a major city, he didn't say, he didn't
    want God to know. God sensed this and sent a tornado
    bigger than Lucifer's blowing it towards Lucifer's tornado.
    When the tornado's met they disappeared.
    Farmers saw this and were utterly confused.
    Lucifer conjured up some lightning bolts and sent
    them to the ten biggest churches in the world;
    God took lightning bolts and threw them into
    Lucifer's Lightning bolts destroying them, which caused an explosion of
    light.
    Lucifer finally had enough and exclaimed; "okay I've had enough of this
    I will see you another day!" God said, "check mate."

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